helenvalentina

Exhaustion

Posted on May 14, 2013 by Helen

Weary (Photo credit: PatrickYHC)

Mere exhaustion does not suffice
To name this creeping malaise
This sensory overload
Flickering like fading starlight
Centuries in the pitted deep
Stricken ache along
Elegant limbs, torn
Between a moment
Of movement and no momentum
Gut wrenchingly sick
To the stomach
Dangling head upon shoulders
Unsteady, neck like a marionette
I crawl out of some darkness
Blinded by light too clear
To bear
What is born of a moment’s hesitation
False and failing exhilaration
One step before dusty death?

Posted in Earth, Poetry | Tagged dark, death, exhaustion, Health, madness, Mental Health, Musings, Sensory overload, tiredness, weariness | 21 Comments

Oracles

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Helen

Fortune teller, Albert Anker, 1880 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Oracular vision
May not be of the future
But merely seeing
The present at long distance
As the eagle view sees
Distant objects approaching
Before one sees the other
Perhaps the oracle sees
The distillation of
Probabilities, telepathically
From each moment in time

Posted in Air, Poetry | Tagged fortune, Fortune-telling, Musings, Philosophy, psychic, Spiritual, telepathy, truth | 24 Comments

Broken

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Helen

Lucifer expulsado del Paraíso. Parque del Retiro. Madrid. (Photo credit: losmininos)

I wish that I
could have mended
your broken wings
even as you fell

I see deep sadness
etched on your face
your downturned mouth
betrays you well

You chose darkness
as a familiar friend
given the horror
of your youth

And threw your rage
in my direction
so I’d be abandonment’s
proof

As lucifer falling
you plummet too
as though you seek
an early grave

And in your wake
a terrible reckoning
with no-one left
behind to save

And yet I wish
for just one moment
I could have soothed
the beast within

But I see
to be at peace now
your only choice
was pain and sin

Posted in Fire, Poetry | Tagged angel, angelic, broken, cruelty, dark, death, denial, fallen angels, lost love, lucifer, pain, passion, Relationships, Spiritual, truth | 15 Comments

Born to You

Posted on May 12, 2013 by Helen

Masked Ball – UK (Photo credit: Interface_Europe)

In this dreamworld
I am born to you
In this illusion
Feel me warm to you

I’m a prisoner
Of this flickering view
I dance this dance
That wears a darker hue

And yet I dream
To find the smallest clue
That turns illusion
Into something true

In this dreamworld
Let me cleave to you
For I so need
To yet believe in you

Posted in Air, Poetry | Tagged Aspiration, belief, choice, Dance, dark, dissociation, Dreams, Love, madness, memory, mind control, pain, passion, truth | 15 Comments

Stars

Posted on May 12, 2013 by Helen

The astrological symbols/glyphs used in Western astrology to represent the planets in astrology (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Gemini rising
Scorpio child
Hides in fine words
Heart of the wild

Mercury and Sun
Conjoined in a dance
Virgo moon plots
Leaving nothing to chance

Venus squares off
For the conquest of Mars
Endless contention
Writ in the stars

Libra for balance
At the base of the chart
Leaves Chiron musing
Where do we start?

Posted in Earth, Poetry | Tagged Astrological sign, chart, Chiron, Gemini, Libra, Mars, Mercury, Musings, Planets in astrology, Scorpio, Sun, Venus | 20 Comments

Stigma – Femininity

Posted on May 12, 2013 by Helen

English: (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am old now
Generations have passed
Attitudes and cultural norms
Have changed

I often wonder how my family
Would view this evolution
So deep was their belief
In the supremacy
Of the male

Surprisingly my mother
Held this view
Perhaps more than any other

Not her fault
Not a matter of fault
Her generation’s norms
Decreed how she saw the world
As much as later generations
Prescribe the ‘newer’ views

Perhaps it is only
The accident of time
Whether you are born
To a generation that can embrace you
Or cannot
Much like a family…..

When I was young
A lack of externally configured genitalia
Meant everything
The limit of success allowed
The extent of intelligence
The room for talent

In some ways
No lesser love
Just oddly expressed
And confined
A girl loved more in spite of herself
Than for herself
She being a girl

I learned the stigma of the female
In that world
I experienced it directly
But would not let it define me

I remember a teacher saying once
‘Helen thinks like a man’
And perhaps I did
Perhaps I did
Perhaps I had to……

A poem for mindlovemisery’s current prompt exercise – Stigma – at http//mindlovemisery.wordpress.com/2013/05/12/prompt-3-stigma

This is probably a bit of a stretch for her topic but she asked for something personal, so this is what occurred to me. 🙂

Posted in Earth, Poetry | Tagged acceptance, belief, choice, denial, feminine, gender, gender politics, generational, masculine, memory, Norm (social), Philosophy, Relationships, Stereotype, stigma, truth | 19 Comments

A POET’S HEART

Posted on May 12, 2013 by Helen

Aka Teraka has written a beautiful evocation of the poet’s soul…one many fellow writers will relate to..so I just had to reblog to share. It is also wonderfully uplifting! Enjoy!! 🙂

Posted in Poetry | 4 Comments

Hush, Did I Hear You Say…..?

Posted on May 11, 2013 by Helen

Darkness falls (Photo credit: the past tends to disappear)

I am the stuff of regret
Faded portraits in handmade books
Hidden from the light
Snippets of songs
Fleeing from the putrid
Memories of the night

I cannot kill my past with sleep…
I cannot beat it down, dead dog in the night…

I am words never spoken
Twisted smile always shrouded
I am the alleyways
And ash trays of life
The stolen liquor
Laced with opiate
Too much wretched pain
To truly obliterate

I cannot forget these petty, useless crimes…
I cannot crawl out of this primordial slime….

I am a carcas
Hung out to dry in the desert
Food for circling vultures
Make them ill with my innards
Desiccated soul
Crisp and flaking into nothing
Under the sun’s harsh eye

I cannot feel my excoriated heart…
I cannot create you, nor redraft….

I am the creature forgotten
Terror of ancient memories
Ravening beast
Crying of endless pain
Presenting only as a threat.
I am the skulking lurker
Watching from dim shadows
Unable to sever
Chains of connection
That were chimeras at best
I am the infant demon
Suckling at an innocent mother’s breast

I am nothing and nobody..
A vagabond of the blackest soul….

I am an artist
Of familial misery
Wearing the clothing you gave
That one brief moment
You turned to smile at me
Now so many years later
I am the same, just the same
Only older
A photograph of a moment
Of stolen light
Faded but unable to change

I am lost, I am lost…
But I will never be gone….
And you will never be free of me….