Suspended in this cold hereafter
Robbed of sight, of sound, of laughter
Brooding, waiting for a sign from others
Passing here before
In such caverns, thoughts residing
Ancient gods are here presiding
Weighing sins to find me wanting,
Falling to the floor
In my life so quickly lost now
All my choices made me somehow
Lesser than the person that I would
Have thought before
Are our sins so pure and pressing
No forgiveness and no blessing
Saves us from our lost confessing, cutting
To the core?
Hear my bitter truth while living
Less of greed and more of giving
May be all it takes to lift you, up above
This dirty floor
If your heart can heed this calling
Then escape this awful falling
Lost and broken, far past hope now
Crashing to the floor
(c) Helen Valentina 2013, All rights Reserved
This is a bit of an homage to Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven, which I love for its haunting quality and unusual rhyming pattern which I’ve partially approximated here.
This is what happens when you trip over cats.
LOL…you must have scary cats then!! 🙂 🙂
After reading your postscript I realised that I had read it at a vaguely similar tempo as The Raven – I cannot explain this in any other terms but that you succeeded in your tribute from the outset.
Thanks so much Mike!!! 🙂 🙂
Wonderful. Mike is right. I love the rhythm. It has been some time since read EAP. I think I must dig up a few pieces…
Thank you so much!! 🙂
I believe that picture was shot in the Philippines during Lenten season, am I correct? as usual I loved the poem, well written helen 😀
I have no idea about the picture, it just seemed to fit the poem. Thanks for your kind words!! 🙂 🙂
As I absorbed your rhyme and rhythm
Such a perfect cataclysm
I half-expected Edgar Allen to come knocking
On my door…
Amazingly well done.
Thank you so much, that is an amazing, wonderful way to render such kind words!! 🙂 🙂
wonderfully done tribute:)
Thank you so much, that is very kind! 🙂 🙂
Yeah, I have to agree with everyone else. I immediately thought of Poe upon reading this. Loved it.
Thanks so much!!! 🙂 🙂