With thanks to Owlish Thoughts for the idea of the five sentence fiction form 🙂
The burden of love freely given but which I cannot return weighs so heavy on me, dragging me down further into my silence. I want to scream at him, to tell the truth, that I cannot love him, and break down the earnest loyalty he daily proves. I want to say ‘the day that changed everything I was not coming to you, but leaving you’. It would take away his guilt which he wears now like a beloved hair shirt and replace it with knowledge of betrayal. But I cannot do this because I ran too fast and between us, instead of my choice, came the accident, and I cannot now speak truth from my coma.
(c) Helen Valentina 2013, All Rights Reserved
helenvalentina 
intense…. and well written my friend…. 🙂
Thanks Roxi! Much appreciated! 🙂
oh.
Is that in reference to the ending? 🙂
no, but the ending forced me to re-read, the whole paragraph is powerful, reminds me of One by Metallica (about a war casualty) 🙂
You do this so well, telling a story with so little, and the ending … I should’ve seen THAT coming! Awesome short short.
Thank you so much!! 🙂
So much is said in the compact of those five sentences. Exceptionally written.
Thank you so much!! 🙂
This is beautiful. All five sentences are so jam packed, in a fantastic way. Love the idea of the five sentence fiction!
Thank you so much…the concept of five sentence fiction was not mine. I saw it on the Owlish Thoughts blog and it seemed a fantastic writing discipline to try to master. Glad you liked the outcome in this instance and thanks for stopping by! 🙂