Complete Abandon – for Prompt 18 – Losing Control

Dedicated to Persephone - the goddess of the u...

Dedicated to Persephone – the goddess of the underworld (Photo credit: AlicePopkorn)

Always the veritable picture of reserve I spent my days
waiting for a god to fall from heaven or rise from hell
and take me home, though long ago I’d found
no path or road would lead me to a place
that cannot, would not exist
Still I waited and I dreamed
and denied each mortal who would trespass
on my crystalline and perfect solitude

Completely unprepared therefore for that forbidden
foolish moment when the eyes met the Other
and knew something close to the sublime
Every crevice of the fortress faltered and widened
as the rose within the heart blossomed and awoke
by just this sight, by just this moment of communion
And I knew, as voices from the pit whispered
their deep, seductive untruths to me
that this was the one, the one
the One I could never hurt

This wouldn’t be allowed, be countenanced
All the celestial realms breathed still a moment,
turned their ancient eyes upon this coupling,
this inter-twining, and some might have laughed
I thought I heard that
like a musical repetition
in the recesses of my mind

I gave myself over to belief, to love, to feeling
in this moment like a child will take the hand
of a stranger, unwise, naïve and open
I believed that the waiting had ceased
and the moment had arrived
and there was no god or demon, just my other half
the soulful kin of my yearning
there before me

Complete abandon is a wonderful, beautiful mistake
and all that we revere and hold precious
to our minds, our souls, our hearts
are captive and victim in its wake
And all our promises are dust within our dying mouths
I hurt him well enough of course, and hurt myself
for the very best of measure and for balance
The gods blinked and turned away
less amused by this interplay
than they had thought that they would be
and in the aftermath it was only him and me
combined in lost futility
In desolate, lost, futility

(c) Helen Valentina 2013, All Rights Reserved

For mindlovemisery’s prompt on losing control. See her wonderful work at

About Helen

I'm drawn to blogging as a way to share ideas and consider what makes us who we are. Whether it's in our working life or our creativity, expression is a means to connect.
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12 Responses to Complete Abandon – for Prompt 18 – Losing Control

  1. Oh Helen this vivid and intense! While I have had positive moments of lost control, there is a very dark year in my life where I wasn’t myself, a year I can’t clearly remember because of all the seizures but just thinking about it makes me physically ill. I lost my way, my mind, my inner voice, it was just madness and delusion. I hurt so many people and myself irreparably. This poem reminds me of that time, this is very powerful and it you have really captured the prompt. Fantastic job, left me emotional

    • Thank you so much, but sorry to have dredged up that time for you -not my intent. It was indeed a poem about a time when I very much lost my way, and that seemed fitting with the prompt! 🙂

  2. dereklubangakene says:

    Wow, this is so beautiful. Everything about it was just right, and what a finish, what a finish…

  3. complex and filled with emotion – “all our promises are dust within our dying mouths” is brilliant

  4. Jamie Dedes says:

    This is poignant, yet lovely – evocative and full of exquisite detail – extremely well done, Helen.

  5. Incredibly well done, Sis. You continue to outdo yourself. Have a great Monday, Sis!!

  6. SSMatthews says:

    Excellent work Helen. A craft well-mastered! You portray abandon with uncompromising directness and yet with a subtlety and precision that make sharing the experience so very enthralling!

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