business chart showing success (Photo credit: SalFalko)
Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater
We have to right size this organisation
But that doesn’t mean we have to re-invent the wheel
We have to up size our delivery streams
Embrace a matrix reporting structure
That works outside of real time constraints
And virtualises the profit trajectory
If we are to realise our strategic potential
And risk minimise the downside of the equation
As this powerpoint clearly shows
And our metrics also indicate
We’ve been putting the cart before the horse
And trying to square the circle
We’ve got to roll our sleeves up
And understand the shopfloor perspective
So we can measure our productivity
Not just our presenteeism
If we are ever to potentialise
Our key deliverables and meet
Our performance indicators
(c) Helen Valentina 2013, All Rights Reserved
Just a mash up of management clichés for mindlovemisery’s prompt this week (see her blog at http://mindlovemisery.wordpress.com )
And no, it doesn’t really mean anything, most Mgt speak doesn’t, LOL! 🙂 🙂
helenvalentina 
Haha this is fantastic! My god you worked the prompt fantastically lol Way to embrace the cliches
Yes, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em I suppose – clichés are the parlance of promotion in many corporations!! 🙂 🙂
As they say, if you can’t stun ’em with science, baffle ’em with technobabble. (Well, they don’t quite say that, but that’s close enough for a public comments box.)
Yep, that’s about right!! 🙂 🙂
Such a great combination of so many sayings! I like the picture too -perfect for your poem!
Thank you so much!!! It was frightening how easily they all occurred to me as I wrote it – I’ve been in my line of work for far too long I think, LOL! 🙂
Try visit my blog. Maybe u will like it. Don’t forget to follow. Haha 🙂
I did, and I am following now! 🙂
What fun!!!! Loved the picture, too!! This was so great, Helen!
Thanks so much Skye!! 🙂 🙂
Wow, so spot on!
Thank you! You can tell I’ve been in management roles for too long can’t you! LOL! 🙂
it’s sort of like reading resumes from people trying BS their way into a job. I think I’ll part of this for my next job interview.
LOL, yes, I’m sure quite a few phrases end up in resumes and interviews. 🙂 🙂
Ha ha ha love it
Thank you!! 🙂 🙂
omg! “square the circle” kills me. Well done. This kind of speak gives me the willies.
Me too, but it’s fun to satirise! 🙂 🙂
Oh, I remember all those! Best thing about retiring was not having to!
I can imagine!!! Thank you!! 🙂 🙂
Hey! I remember this memo! It’s the one I folded into a paper plane as sailed through an open window. There’s some great humor here Helen, Loved it!
LOL – sounds like you did exactly the right thing with the memo!!! 🙂 🙂