Secret comrades meeting here, rise and close your door
As though to battle bound let fervour fire your core
The traveller stakes his aim on conquering higher peaks
Then at once to greet them, strides brave across the floor
Tumbling kittens, sweet and wily, to draw you in
Beguiling trickster, fluffy feline chose the claw!
Struck by beauty of the garden, alive with spring
Loving nature, embracing now the rose, j’adore!
Summer yields to autumn, then winter takes control
Bitter mistress leavesΒ all sweet seedlings froze to core
Light is failing, time is precious, the canvas draws
Beseeching model, artists muse to pose for more.
So with this attempt I tried to keep the themes of each couplet distinct as I understand the traditional ghazal requires…still not sure of the outcome but given the challenge of the form it is a worthy thing to keep trying I think! π
(c) Helen Valentina 2013, All Rights Reserved
couplets done well… it’s great piece π
Thank you so much – I find this form very difficult and I wasn’t sure if it worked this time really, but I do appreciate your positive commentary because I’m probably too close to it to see for sure. π
Loved it!! Your work inspires me!
Thank you, ditto re yours inspiring me! π
It’s beautiful!
Thank you so much – as I noted I was uncertain if I’d pulled this off properly so kind words of encouragement like yours are very much appreciated! π
I like your second attempt to this. I have been looking at the write up on it and trying to see how i could complete one for myself. I haven’t shared much poetry here but i do want to share more on my blog. I think you did a great job in this one. I hope you continue to explore the depths of your creativity
Thank you so much, this means a lot as I do find this style very challenging. I look forward to reading your poetry as you post it. π